I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
