hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
