Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
