Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
