Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
