You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
