I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Randomize
