I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
