So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
This is my gift to your gina
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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