Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
