some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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