This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Randomize
