It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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