love makes seman taste better
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
