is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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