so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
