My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
