Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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