that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
