Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize