White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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