Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Randomize
