i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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