I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
