New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
