Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
