he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
