so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Randomize
