I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
