Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
