You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
