I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
