the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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