she takes plan B like it's going out of style
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
