i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I got her a Nickelback box set.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
