Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
