Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
