Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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