I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Randomize
