God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I could make wine with my vomit
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
