I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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