if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
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