He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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