I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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