I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
