i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
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