i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
