chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
dude. I can hear the air.
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