I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
