Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
