I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
