I must be too annoying 4 u.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
