He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
