They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
barbara walters just said penis...
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
