So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I would ride that face into the sunset
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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