she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
