shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
