He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
