People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
