I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
