I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
