Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
