I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
