Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
